You know I don't usually pop in your inbox on a Friday afternoon... so is this a TRICK? or a TREAT?
Haha...
You know it's almost Halloween and just yesterday I walked into Target, saw all their gobs of Halloween candy and how they already had their Christmas decorations up!! YIKES! And, it's not even November yet!!
This got me thinking about the holidays and how they are RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!
Then, I came home and started doing some research...
Did you know that more people gain weight during the HOLIDAYS more than ANY other time of the year???
Did you ALSO know that people gain on average 15-35lbs during the HOLIDAY season??
And, did you know that it can take them up to FIVE months to lose the weight regain??
Did you KNOW that people need the MOST support this time of year to ensure they stay on track or else they end up falling back into OLD HABITS??
The holiday season is NO JOKE, and there is a ton of research behind this theory and statistics to show that the weight gain during the holidays is a serious issue.
This is why I've created M3 which is my newest MINDSET program that launched back in August… It creates a basin of support to help you when you’re doing awesome, or when you’re on the struggle bus. It’s an amazing community of support of individuals ready to share their struggles and their success, where we share mindset hacks, tips, tools, journaling prompts and so much more.
It includes TWO monthly trainings on mindset that help you say FRESH and FOCUSED on your journey – most are 45 minutes or less so you can watch or listen from anywhere.
It also includes TWO monthly Q&A sessions with ME, so you can ask anything goes type questions.
And.. if that’s not enough.. we also have Nutrition Tip Tuesdays and Fitness Fridays with professionals to add to your support so you’ll have access to nutrition tips and at least one workout a week you can do from home…
This is the TIME of year when you don’t want to be without this level of support. When people are making pies like crazy, bringing candy into work leaving it out in the open, and everything relates to FOOD… this is the time you REALLY need to be on the top of your game..
So, when you sign up for 3-months it will carry you through the holiday season!! And, to get clear on the holiday issues that pop-up I’m adding my NEW amazing holiday masterclass titled the HOLIDAY HUSTLE it includes the OCTOBER Promise, which talks about the struggles of the holiday season and gives you the tools and worksheets to help you succeed from October through New Years, helping you avoid dreaded holiday weight gain!
See, the holiday season essentially kicks off with Halloween and all the candy that is left over from the lovely trick-or-treaters can be the beginning of this whole process.
The October Promise is a commitment to yourself and our community to refocus on your goals and to recommit to eating healthy bari-friendly foods through the season as well as creating a practice that helps you achieve your goals all season long!
The HOLIDAY HUSTLE is about carrying this commitment through November and December to alleviate holiday regain so you can start your year FRESH, moving forwards and without having to go backwards!!
This EXCLUSIVE masterclass is available for a limited time and is now a BONUS when you join M3 for 3-months. I’ve never done this before, so this is something that you definitely want to help you get through the holiday season.
This Masterclass is already FREE to all of my current M3 members, and coaching group participant members... so if you're in my community - you're already IN!
For those NOT in either of these programs.. You have the option of joining M3 for 3-months or 12-months and getting this brand NEW exclusive trainings as a bonus ($69 value!!)
This will give you ADDITIONAL trainings and guides you through the holidays and gives you the ADDED support of a close-knit community with bi-monthly trainings on mindset to help guide you in this behavior shift, weekly nutrition tips, and weekly fitness trainings...
This is actually the BEST value for current non-members!!
And..as an additional bonus, you'll have access to an additional EXCLUSIVE workshop that I am doing with Patricia Hill (from My Bariatric Kitchen) in November about Bariatric Holiday Mindset & Macros, which will be an additional training on mindset along with holiday planning & prep, and making holiday meals easy. ($69 value!!)
These two BONUS trainings alone are more than the minimum investment of 3-months in M3, which is going to help you get through the holidays, which makes this such an incredible deal!
Are you ready to set yourself up for success this holiday season and beyond??
We have less than 3 months left in this DECADE... not just the year... but the DECADE... are you ready to leave 2019 healthy and happy?
So, if you’re already in one of these programs, there’s nothing to do other than save the date for the Holiday Hustle & Bariatric Mindset & Macros masterclasses…. but if you’re NOT yet an M3 member, here are the options you have to grab critical access to these special HOLIDAY training and opt out of the holiday weight gain statistics:
Join here to gain access to M3 now…
Let's do this!
It's okay to not be okay
I wanted to talk about the struggle with this process. And part of that is working through "not being okay" or really struggling with resistance, depression, feeling like you’ve lost your mojo, or the initial thoughts of feeling "not okay" with where you are.
In the initial stages of the process there's a lot of excitement and anxiety around getting to surgery. Then after surgery there's a process of "getting to normal" because the first few months (as you already know), are about transitioning from clear liquids to full liquids to pureed foods, to soft foods, to solid foods. Then, it's a stabilization period of introducing foods back into your plan.
Then, you'll go through your first holiday season, and learn how to eat for life.... YES, for LIFE!
This journey is a lifelong path. It doesn’t stop at goal, and instead it shifts into maintenance (which is a whole other topic in and of itself).
Often times on this journey (no matter where you are - in the weight loss or maintenance phases), there are struggles and setbacks. As with anything in life, there will be ups and downs. Yet, there is this preconceived notion that once you’ve had surgery that everything is smooth sailing. Or the other preconceived notion that once you’ve hit goal, you’re also "good to go". Sadly, this is unfortunately not what happens.
It’s a day in and day out journey. It’s lifestyle change. It’s adjustments. It’s creating a path that has never been before. It’s going against the grain, what you’ve always known, pushing past your comfort zone (sometimes daily), and staying strong through triggers, obstacles, and temptation.
Life still happens. You still get up and go to work each day. You’ll still deal with life issues such as problem co-workers, or difficult family members, health issues, grief and loss, change of jobs, buying or selling houses, babies being born, divorces, marriages, the whole kit-and-kaboodle… Life doesn’t stop happening because you’re in the middle of your post-op journey, or because you’re trying to change your lifestyle and your habits.
My point here today is- It’s okay to not be okay on your journey. And, when you’re not okay - you need a plan to help you get through the rough patches.
There are points where we become frustrated with status quo, and we throw our hands up in the air, and maybe scream "I don’t care".
And, you know and I know that’s not true either. You do care. You want to succeed, and you struggle because this journey is still hard.
Maybe there is weight regain, maybe there’s a stall, or maybe you don’t WANT to work the plan that’s been set out in front of you, or you have beliefs that it’s too hard for you to follow-through or you don’t have time.
The truth is -there’s always time for what is important to you.
And...
So often in this indifference to change you find you may not have the "OOMPH" to get going on taking action or implementing the plan for change.
Regardless of what limiting beliefs pop-up, buying into the old beliefs, won’t help you get to where you want to go.
Wherever you are, whatever you’re struggling with.. it’s okay not to be okay.
When going through this - it’s important for you to surround yourself with support, loving individuals who can help you get through the muck, and who will also sit with you through the difficulties. And, to help you remember why you started this journey to begin with.
It’s also essential to acknowledge where you are versus where you want to be, and to start SMALL!!
We tend to have HUGE expectations and pile things on our plates, and then feel like a failure when it doesn’t happen.. this is just self-defeating.
Instead.. start small.. and do the one or two things that will help you move in the direction of where you want to go.. And.. remember that your MINDSET is key.
If you think defeating thoughts, you’ll FEEL defeated.
Remember that anything you do or say - positive or negative - is an affirmation of what you believe to be true.
What is ONE thing you can say or do for your journey that will give you a mini kick-start or help you get moving on your journey?
And, if you’re still not okay, what is one thing you can do to help you feel supported? Examples: go to your support group, call a support person, join a new support group, share your story, see a therapist, call a friend, etc.
Wherever you are, it’s okay. And, when you’re ready to move from that place, start small, get support, and ask for help. You didn’t come this far, to only come this far.
Avoiding and Tackling Weight Regain in 5 steps
I hope you week is going well so far. Today I wanted to talk about weight regain because this is a topic that many discuss and ask about on their journey.
Weight regain is one of those subjects that either…
Drive people to FEAR their weight loss journey because they don’t want to mess up….
OR…
Can cause shame because they have experienced regain.
Regardless of which camp you’re in, there is HOPE!
Regain is not the end of the line.. and by FEARING regain, you’re being led by fear, and not by the joy of lifestyle changes.
Shame can cause more problems than just regain. It can impact your mental health and wellness. Weight regain can lead to isolation which can impact the amount of support you receive. This is why support systems are essential.
While many fear judgment from regain, finding a community that helps you rather than judges is what to seek. Also, helping you see the positive parts of this journey is important rather than living in fear of making a mistake.
One of the many goals of this journey is to love your life, your new body, and to work with it.. not against it.
Lifestyle change is part of this journey.
Eating Bari-friendly foods is part of this journey.
However, when you focus on what you CANNOT have, instead of what you can, your brain tends to gravitate towards the FORBIDDEN.. and when that happens, you can end up in a tailspin, seeking out the foods you used to eat prior to surgery.
While everything in moderation is a good idea, there are many post-op patients that really need to stay away from sugar and simple carbs - PERIOD.
Others can have a BITE or a small serving every once in a while.
The point here is to KNOW YOURSELF, and to know what type of person you are.
When you know this, it can be easier to recognize what to stay away from, how to live a Bari-friendly lifestyle and how to support yourself long-term.
Additionally, it’s important to recognize that weight regain is not ALL what you eat. It’s also changes in hormone fluctuations, your body’s biological weight set point, medications, too much stress, a lack of sleep, and other medical conditions which may be contributing factors.
However, what we have control over IS what we eat, and how frequently we move.
This is clearly not the only factor, but eating for our health is within our control, and this is something we can improve over time.
Here are some top suggestions for avoiding regain, or tackling weight regain if you’ve already regained weight.
Know that foods may be triggering for you and instead of all out avoiding them - make Bari-friendly options that will help you. Barify-it!
Start where you are, and start small. Rome wasn’t built in a day- and losing regain won’t come off super fast. It’s important to refocus your attention and direction on eating well - protein first, waiting 30-min to drink, and getting back to basics. And… acknowledge that NO ONE is perfect, and you may mess-up, but you can change directions at any time and get back on track as soon as you can.
Move for enjoyment, not for weight loss. Fitness, exercise, movement is good for you and can help improve your mood. Shift your thinking about it. It’s not punishment, it’s a way to help you destress, and create endorphins.
If your relationship with food needs a tune up and you’re emotional eating - get support in this area. Turning to food when you’re stressed or emotional needs to be dealt with so you can succeed long-term. This surgery is meant to help you, however when people get into bad habits of grazing or eating foods high in sugar or carbs, it can be sabotaging.
If you don’t think your regain is related to lifestyle change, check with your doctor about other potential factors.
Use these to guide you back to the path of success and release the fear of "what if". Refocus your attention on your basics and your goals, and move in that direction daily and you’ll be successful over time.
Who is your TOP priority?
What are your priorities? Are you one of your top priorities?? Or are YOU your top priority?
...or do you prioritize everything and everyone above yourself?
Many prioritize everything but themselves.
What I've found most frequently in the bariatric community are people who are so loving, so kind, so sweet, and yet they put EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE above and before themselves..
This becomes part of the problem.
I say this because, we all go through life stressors. We all go through the "crap" that life throws at us.
Some people have the innate ability to keep going despite hardships and difficult situations.
And.. those who are the LEAST prepared, are the ones that have depleted themselves to a point where when crisis hits, they continue to deny themselves basic needs and basic care.
After becoming a post-op, this is one of the MAIN issues that I see.
By no means am I suggesting that you give up your beloved volunteer work, or that you should stop driving your grandma, to their cancer treatments or the grocery store, but what I AM saying is that....
YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOU!!! FIRST AND FOREMOST.....
Because... NO ONE else will do it for you...
AND... you cannot fully serve others if you aren't taking care of YOU!
And, in the rat race of life.. if you are sooooo incredibly busy taking care of others, this is a key indicator that you're ignoring your own needs, your own desires, your own self-care, and so much more!
Then, because you are sooooo totally exhausted and run down, you end up eating off plan, stop doing any type of workouts, fight off being exhausted, use food to soothe, use food to keep you awake, do more for others because they "need" you, and then... 6 months, or a year down the line, you begin to wonder how in the world you ended up with regain...
EMOTIONAL EATING
DOING TOO MUCH FOR OTHERS
DENYING YOURSELF SELF-CARE
USING FOOD TO COPE
THE ABSENCE OF MOVEMENT
EXCESS STRESS
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
and so much more...
This journey.. is a COMMITMENT to you.. and while there are pitfalls, how fast and frequently you get up after the falls makes a HUGE difference to your success. And, if you're too busy focused on everyone else, it's easy to forget yourself.
And, one of my favorite sayings is that "you cannot pour from an empty cup", and when you put others before yourself, you end up depleted, empty, and struggling.
YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR THIS TO WORK!!
Something MUST change!!
It's more than boundaries.
It's more than saying NO.
It's more than eating something different.
It's more than meal prepping.
What IT IS about is this...
It's about NEW skills and new strategies.
It's about interpersonal communication.
It's about practicing self-care and other tools.
It's about rewiring your neuropathways and your subconscious mind.
So instead of waiting until the next time you fall down, or the next time you focus on others...
Take a step back and ask yourself.. "Do I have the skills to move beyond this? And.. can I implement them today?"
If the answer is NO, and you need tools and accountability to help you move beyond your old habits, old boundaries, and to put and end to negative thinking, doing everything for others and not enough for yourself, essentially shifting your OLD patterns and swapping them for healthier new patterns that create success on your journey.
THIS is about a SISTERHOOD to help you achieve ALL of your goals!!
You aren't alone, and we provide the guidance you need to feel fully supported and guided.
This is your chance... are you ready for the next step?
We have a few spots left for the Bariatric Mindset Group Program which kicks off on September 1!
Our first call is on September 4th, and doors close when we reach capacity or 2:59pm EST on 9/4.
So if you're ready to make some lasting changes, and love your life more fully while losing your weight and keeping it off, this group is for you...
We teach you that when you fall, it's easy to get right back up using proven tools to help you grow!
Just don't delay.. doors will close soon!!
Taming that sneaky little saboteur and tantrumming inner...
Just when you thought it was safe to run your life again.. the saboteur snuck back in.. or your toddler had a raving tantrum...
She caught you off guard.. You thought you'd been doing the work..
You've been practicing..
You've been present...
....or so you thought....
Until....
UNTIL..... you get overwhelmed.. Until life happens, and the kids have soccer, or your husband suggests you guys go out for dinner, or until you have a late night meeting, or you have to go in early to work.. Until you go on vacation and come back and don't remember how you did it before.. or you at off track on vacation and struggle with getting back on track after..
Until you realize that staying on plan is a LOT of work, because you haven't been taught the hacks, how to keep things simple, how to take things on one step at a time, how to build momentum without beating yourself up..
You get overwhelmed by meal prep, working out, prioritizing your life, what to eat, when to eat, self-care, keeping up with tracking, your bariatric basics, your love life, your family, laundry, work, extended family, friends, etc...
And so you just STOP.. You stop doing the work. You stop taking action.
And you feel like total crap because you recognize that you're falling back into OLD patterns.
It's not how you want things to be.. It's not what you committed to. It's not how you want this to end.. so you begin to beat yourself up...
And then..
YOU HIDE..
YOU ISOLATE..
YOU IGNORE..
BUT I SEE YOU...
I see the people who hide.
I notice when you go dormant.
I notice when you are in hiding.
I can tell when you're isolating..
and I know WHY!
I see...
The shame.
The fear.
The stress.
The overwhelm.
The not wanting to confront the issues.
The excuses that linger, but you don't want to face.
Maybe you think if you ignore them long enough, they'll go away
Maybe you think if you hide from the accountability, it will get better.
Maybe you think if you just try to figure out a plan on your own, you can make it happen.
The truth is you need NEW mindset tools to breakthrough the barrier of YOU..
The way OUT of this whole mess.. in IN..
It's about GETTING TO KNOW YOU..
It's about GOING DEEPER...
It's about HONORING what is..
It's about being FULLY VULNERABLE about the poor choices..
It's about COMING CLEAN about the wrong turns and owning up to the behavior..
It's about MAKING A DECISION to change ... for good.
It's about RECOMMITTING to yourself, this new post-op lifestyle, and to the person you want to become..
This process does NOT have to be as hard as it seems. It does NOT have to be difficult, or take a ton of time, but every single person does have a certain amount of work to do on themselves.
The inner saboteur and inner toddler come out when you least expect them..
And I'm here to help you get prepared for when they do..
This post-op journey is a process, it's all about creating a new lifestyle, and in order to do that, you need NEW skills, NEW tools, NEW strategies to follow through with...
This is exactly what we work on in the Bariatric Mindset Group Coaching Program..
You bring your issues and struggles on the LIVE calls, and we dissect the issue, and give you a strategy on the spot for you to implement that week!
This helps you overcome the inner saboteur and the inner toddler...
As you gain new tools, you're post-op process and life are transformed..
The only thing missing is YOU..
You show up. You do the work. You share your struggles. You get the tools. You implement them. You gain new successes!
This is how it works.
In our group we are loving, supportive and positive. As your coach and guide, I will always lovingly call you out on what's not working and give you the tools to improve.
We are a #noshamezone
This is all about SHIFTING YOUR MINDSET for the long-term. Don't let another sad day go by frustrated at yourself. It's time to take a step in a new direction for YOU and your health.
There is no quick fix. But there are solutions that you can implement today!
Enrollment closes September 4th...or until we reach capacity..
Less than 10 spots left!!
You won't want to miss this!
Put yourself back in the driver's seat and take back control of your brain and behavior.
I'll be happy when..
I wanted to pop in your email box today to talk about weight loss and happiness.
We all have this grand idea that we'll be happy when.....
And that's just a myth that we tell ourselves.
Because even when we lose the weight - then what?
I see many who recreate the diet cycle because once they get to goal, then they feel "now what?"
It's important to start LIVING your life where you are.. no matter what.
YES, you want to lose the weight.
YES, you want to feel awesome in your body.
YES, you want to DO things that make you happy and make your soul sing.
YES, you want to be confident and courageous.
These things don't happen overnight.. and even with the weight loss.. FEAR still steps in.
FEAR still has something to say inside your ear... FEAR still whispers all the things you can't or won't do.. and if you listen you'll give in to this voice.
On the other hand, you have a choice.. you have a choice to....
START living... and STOP waiting.. start doing the things that make you happy NOW.
Even small baby steps count!
So, on this weight loss journey, start living as though you're already there.
Start asking yourself.. "what will that future me be like? what would he/she do?"
And.. start living like that person.
Otherwise the future you won't come to fruition because the CURRENT you might still be hanging on to old habits, uncomfortable feelings, and still listening to that overwhelming voice of fear..
It's time you step outside your comfort zone and take action..
Here's my 5 step solution.
1. Decide who you want to be, or what you want to do - Decide what excites you and what will make you happy!
2. Then make a plan to do that thing - or a baby step to it. If you've always wanted to surf but live in Michigan, maybe you'll start by learning how to balance and visualize being on the ocean. Maybe you'll take a yoga class. Start where you are.. No matter what - make the plan.
3. Take a step. Do something. Instead of just living inside your head or inside the visualization or THINKING about taking a class - go take the class - actually sign up for it! This will really get you excited because you'll be moving in the direction of your desires.
4. Commit to make it a practice. Don't just do it once.. do it again and again. This raises your happiness level because you are becoming who you want to be! One of my clients said that she wanted to be a yoga teacher. She didn't even do yoga at the time. Two years later, she's finally taking her 200hour teacher training. Dreams do happen.
5. Reflect. Don't just do it once, or make it a practice. Reflect and see what's going well, or what's not going well. Maybe your vision didn't make it into reality. Maybe you really hate canoeing even though you thought you'd love it. That's okay. Find something else that makes your soul sing. Maybe you love painting, or maybe you're ready for a career change. Maybe you want to take up dodge ball or something active. Or maybe you'll finally get involved with the youth group at your church because they inspire you to be better, do better, and teach them to be better and do better. No matter what, reflect and shift into the direction you want to go.
What does this have to do with weight loss surgery?
A lot!
So many people prior to surgery give up their dreams, sink into despair, and hide away in their homes. Living a FULL life, is what having surgery is all about. It goes beyond the weight, and helps you to lose the weight because when your focus is all on the food, you still aren't fully living. When you shift your focus to LIVING FULLY, you start to BECOME who you want to be, and the food is nourishment, instead of the main stimulus or main theme in your life.
It's time to pivot. It's time to be happy. And.. it's time to figure out what that means for you.
I hope this email serves you well this week.. It's a deep dive into YOU and into your mind.
You know what excites you, and it's time to start exploring that for you.
On the fence? Are you stuck in the WHAT or the WHY?
You’ve heard it before…. The What versus the Why
This is one of my most FAVORITE topics to discuss because it is SOOOOO important. We’re talking about the differences in the WHAT versus the WHY on your bariatric post-op journey.
We all want to know what to eat, what to eat, what to eat?
EVERYONE MUST EAT! Even after surgery, we want to know WHAT to eat so we do it right. This is natural and normal for survival, and to be healthy. And, for those of us recovering from obesity, we sometimes pay too much attention and focus too much on the WHAT.
What do I eat?
What should I eat?
What foods should I avoid?
What foods should I eat regularly?
What foods are best for weight loss?
Etc…
And while the WHAT is important, soooo many people forget about the WHY!!
And… the "WHY" you eat is just as important as the WHAT.. and for emotional eaters, the WHY can mean so much more than the WHAT!
Here’s the thing, as I said before, we ALL need to eat. It’s a requirement of life and nourishing our bodies.
However, for many individuals who have been struggling with obesity and emotional eating... and for those of us who have had bariatric surgery, the WHY becomes much more prevalent.
Yes... knowing WHAT to eat is important. Yet, when people are overeating, stress eating, emotional eating, eating to avoid life, eating to avoid pain, eating to avoid boredom, eating to fill the void, or eating to feel ANYTHING other than uncomfortable feelings…. then we have a bigger issue because telling you to eat chicken and veggies, or balanced macros means NOTHING.
It is then that the WHAT is not the sole solution… the WHY must also be addressed.
This is because the issue is not about WHAT you are eating or not eating… it’s clearly a case of WHY you are eating when it’s not meal time, when you are NOT physically hungry, and grazing to avoid feeling, or to feel something better than what you are feeling.
This is why I’ve created the Bariatric Mindset Group Program.
We are 10% WHAT, and 90% WHY
The reason for this is that once you understand the WHY and once can master yourself through WHY you eat, the WHAT becomes EASY.
So, while there are tons of other people that share the WHAT... my message, these teachings, the guidance, the accountability and support goes much deeper in this program.
Once again, this program isn’t just about knowing, it’s about DOING.
We are all about implementation and getting YOU out of your own way.
We work on overcoming the inner toddler and the self-saboteur, the little voice in your head that tells you to seek out forbidden foods in the fridge or from your pantry. It’s that part of you that you find eating things late into the evening when you really need to be sleeping.
We are sharing a previously recording sample call this week, and if you haven’t signed up yet, you’ll likely have questions. Check out our sample call as it will help you see what we work on in these sessions. We’ll also show you what it’s like to be in the group program and how you’ll benefit. It’s going to be AWESOME!
But in all honesty, they always are!!
As a reminder, this recording is ONLY available for a limited time.
And, if you want more information about the program, or you are ready to join, you can find that information HERE.
Enrollment closes 9/4 at 2:59pm EST, or when we reach capacity. Only limited spots are available. Our first call takes place on 9/4..
Don’t let time run out on you...Make the rest of this year, the BEST of this year! Let’s help you get set up for 2020!! This group runs from September- December, and you’ll need this support through the holiday season!
This is your opportunity to take back control of your WHY, yourself, and your health.
What exactly are you living for?
What exactly are you living for?
Life is meant to be lived. What makes your life magnificent, special, or dynamic?
Are you living an extraordinary life? Or is your life just passing you by. Are you excited about waking up every day or are you getting up and going through the motions just to get by? These are critical questions to ask as life goes by so quickly and if you are not careful, you’ll wake up looking back and wondering "What happened?" Time is always ticking and if you are not living a life by design, maybe it is time to make some changes.
This goes right along with your weight loss journey because many use food to soothe the disappointments of life or to deal with the day to day frustrations.
How do you deal with life?
Are you truly happy?
Are you living a life you are excited about?
Many of us seek WLS as a way to gain our lives back.
However, if you are still stuck in a struggle of losing weight, or re-losing weight (if you have experienced regain), it keeps you stuck in a cycle of losing and potentially gaining.
This is why knowing what you are living for and what comes next is so important in your journey..
Also, while losing the weight, living a life that is FULL and COMPLETE is so important.
So many people say… "I’ll do this when…" and not recognize the impact of delaying their joy or their happiness.
I don't know of any day called "when" or "someday" - we only have Sunday through Saturday to get things done!
And......
Instead, START DOING THOSE THINGS NOW- even if you need to do them on a smaller scale.
Life is happening NOW.. not when, or someday.
Also, many people don’t know WHAT they want, or WHO they are... which also keeps them STUCK!
This is also something that happens after WLS because it wakes you up to how much you’ve been missing in life because of the weight.
DON'T LET THIS BE YOU!
And, yes, there are many people who live full lives with the added weight, but more often there are those who hide away at home, fearing going out, fearing being judged, and fearing fear itself…
what if?? what if?? what if???
Is this you?
Then there's the fear of not being perfect, fear of not being enough, and fear in general that stops people from taking action.
This is why a sense of community is so essential. If you feel alone, or trapped by your own thinking, you can end up staying stuck and feeling powerless - and it's all happening within your own head.
Getting out of your head, and seeing that others are going through something similar can help you break through the glass ceiling.
Yes, this is a weight loss journey and you desire to release the weight - FOR GOOD!
And, if you don't work on what your next steps are beyond that, you could end up repeating the "diet cycle".
And, if you don't have a supportive community that challenges you to grow beyond yourself, and that negative thinking, you could end up sinking in your own thoughts.
It's important that wherever you find this community that they uplift you, challenge your negative thoughts, encourage you to push back on the fear of failure, the fear of not enough, and all those thoughts while celebrating you and your successes.
This is how the Bariatric Mindset Group Program came about. It's a group of women lifting one another up on this weight loss surgery journey, getting underneath the "why can't I just..?" type thinking, and actually helping you and guiding you to following through..
This is a group of women that challenges you, uplifts you, guides you, and gives you a loving kick in the butt when you need it.
We work on overcoming emotional eating, life skills, overcoming negative self-talk, pushing back on your inner toddler and self-saboteur, and you gain REAL LIFE skills to help you rediscover yourself even beyond the weight loss process.
Whether you are pre-op or post-op this is the group that brings it all together.
This group opens ONCE every 4 months (3x per year) and we are open for ONE more week until we BEGIN our final group for 2019!!
This group goes from September - December 2019 and can lead you into 2020 feeling successful.
Are you ready for 2020? Don't let fear hold you back. You and your journey is a priority.
We start next week and this is the community you have been searching for. For all the details, click HERE. Spots are filling fast and once we are full, we are FULL. The next time this will be offered is starting in January of 2020. Don't go through the holidays without support as this is one of the most challenging times of the year on our journey!
If you have any additional questions about the amazing support and tools you will receive in the Bariatric Mindset Group Program, click on reply and let me know!
Overcome your Fear of Failure
On your road to a successful life and body after WLS, it is likely that your biggest roadblock is fear of failure. This has to be the ONE thing that stops people in their tracks and keeps them from taking action towards their goals. I’ve seen this over and over again, and let me tell you, it limits your life immensely!! This fear stops you from trying anything that you don’t believe you can be successful at very quickly.
However, there’s ONE big thing that I’ve learned through life and via my passion for psychology and personal growth… and it is that if you plan to accomplish anything worthwhile, you are GUARANTEED that it will come with a fair amount of failure along the way. And, If you fear failure, you’re likely limiting yourself and all you COULD achieve.
Consider these signs that you might fear failure:
You’re not excited about, or pursuing your goals aggressively enough. Hopefully, you have at least a few goals you’d like to achieve. Are you excitedly pursuing them each day, or are you finding excuses to "wait until tomorrow" to take an action? Your hesitancy is a sign that you fear failing. This is also part of the procrastination effect. That idea of waiting until tomorrow just delays you taking action and working toward your goals. Also, it could be the mindset that you’re GIVING SOMETHING UP, instead of seeing ALL that you’re getting in return. Get excited about all you’ll achieve, and start focusing on what you’ll GET instead of what you’re giving up. I’d love for you to think about this process is trading in that 1983 Toyota Corolla for a brand new shiny and sexy 2020 Lincoln XLT.. that’s a metaphor for the trade off.. And.. what kind of gas would you put in your new car? Would you give it the best of the best?? Or the crappiest of the crappiest?? Same for your body!! You deserve the best!! Now start looking at what you’ll gain and how you’ll feel…
You’re TOTALLY obsessed with being PERFECT. A need to be perfect at anything is a sign that you fear failure. This is a common excuse to avoid doing something and it’s because you struggle with ALL or NOTHING thinking. It sounds noble in your head, but it’s just an avoidance technique. There are very few things in life that need to be perfect. And, what I’ve learned most from this process is that the more you practice and FAIL, the more you’ll learn to GROW. Misteps, mistakes, accidents, and poor choices have the capacity to TEACH you what you want to do LESS, and help you recognize what you want more of in your life. It’s through making mistakes and doing things incorrectly that help you realize that those OLD behaviors aren’t helping you get to where you want to go.. And you remember my favorite quote "What got you here, won’t get you there.." or "If you what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten". The truth is you want CHANGE, that’s why you’re on this journey.. it’s time to take some action and recognize that FAILURE is part of success.
You procrastinate or use other means of sabotaging yourself. We can unintentionally create circumstances that make it impossible to be successful or to even begin getting to work. You may do things for others, or do things that avoid what you need to do for you. You stay at work late to avoid the gym. You take on other tasks to avoid meal planning/prepping. These are just examples, and there are a dozen more examples where these came from. These become convenient excuses that keep you stuck. Ask yourself why you sabotage yourself? What is the purpose? What happens if NOTHING changes? What happens if you stay the same? Then ask yourself.. what do you want? What happens if you allow yourself to take baby steps towards change, even if that means failing in order to learn and grow once in a while? What would happen then? What would happen if you started imperfectly, just for today?
Overcome your fear of failure and live the life you were meant to live with these techniques:
Keep positive outcomes in mind. If you only had positive expectations and never considered a negative outcome, you couldn’t be afraid. Spend a few minutes each day imagining the outcome you desire.
Imagine the worst that can happen. Just one time, allow yourself to consider the worst that can happen. Is it really that bad? What could you do to handle that situation? If you have positive expectations and confidence that you can handle the worst outcome, you’ll feel confident to move ahead.
Stay present. Aside from imagining positive outcomes for a few minutes each day, keep your mind grounded in the present moment. What is the next step you need to take? Do what needs to be done next and keep your mind on that.
• If you’re focused on your current work, you can’t be worrying about what might happen later.Acknowledge the positive aspects of failure:
• You learn something each time you fail and get better at whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. And…. YOU GROW!!
• You become more resilient to failure. Each failure teaches you that failing isn’t nearly as terrifying as you thought it would be.
• You’re actively living your life instead of playing it safe. This is great for your confidence, self-esteem, and overall life experience.Hang around successful people, and people who are DOING THE WORK. When you hang around successful people, you realize that they do more and fail more than most people. You’ll also notice that they don’t worry about failing. They give their best effort, fail, readjust, and try again. They just keep going until they have the results they desire.
How much has a fear of failure negatively impacted your life? It’s probably a lot more than most of us care to admit!
You can accomplish some pretty amazing things if you’re willing to deal with this fear. Take the bull by the horns and begin working on your goals each day. Avoid allowing a silly fear to taint your life experience.
Start pushing back on your fear of failure, and recognize that you can achieve your goals, when you allow yourself to TRY no matter what.
You cannot HEAL in the same environment that made you sick
There's a reason why behavior change is difficult. You're the one changing, and everyone around you stays the same.
While family and friends may be super supportive, they still go on doing what they did before.
And, it may be frustrating to see everyone eating the foods you used to eat.
You're committed to doing things differently now, and it's important to be on board with what you say you want.
The short-term temptation can impact your long-term results.
The old identity and the old behaviors spring up even when you know that's not who you are anymore, or who you want to be.
Also, there are a lot of other changes.. Meal prepping/planning, working out/moving your body, setting healthy boundaries, dealing with family issues, stressors, work, life, marriage or dating, and the list goes on...
There are a lot of things that you may not have realized would impact your post-op journey.
Who you USED to be.. is not who you are becoming.
The NEW you, is someone you are still getting to know.
That person needs nurturing, support, love, compassion, and sometimes a CALLING OUT, regarding old behaviors that aren't serving you, or where you are headed.
This is why many recommend support groups as a way to gain new information and long-term support.
Although, many support groups ONLY cater to newbies or pre-ops.., and some don't go deep enough. It's important to have information, support, along with tools that will help you work through your process at any phase and every phase..
This is why I've created the Bariatric Mindset Group Coaching Program.
It is support beyond support. It's not therapy, either. It's a tribe of women coming together to work through and get coached on life before and after weight loss surgery. It's all about staying focused, on track, and getting to the deeper root of the lifestyle change component, which is amazing...
It's coaching from a psycho-educational perspective that helps you rethink your habits, your lifestyle, and reshapes you so that you can become all that you've wanted to become, releasing the inhibitions, and stepping into your power.
We encourage, empower, and uplift.
We challenge the old thinking, and we adopt new ways of being.
This is the environment in which we heal. This is the environment in which we grow, with other individuals who are on the path with us, walking the path, together.
We have limited availability and we start 9/4... If you're interested in a tight knit group with some 1:1 talk time each month to work on YOUR specific needs, issues, and to address your own growth with tools specific to YOU, this is the group for you..
There's nothing out there like it... PLEASE NOTE.. this is a women's group only.. Enrollment begins today and ends 9/4 or when all the spots are filled up.
If you'd like to get on the waitlist for the MEN's group, hit reply and we'll let you know when we open a men's group.
This round of the group coaching program goes from September through December.. our next enrollment will be in December for the January 2020 start. If you want to get in before next year, the time is NOW!
Are you ready for 2020?? This is your time to heal, grow, and shine!!
For more info or to sign up: Bariatric Mindset Group Program (limited availability)
See you on the inside!