On your road to a successful life and body after WLS, it is likely that your biggest roadblock is fear of failure. This has to be the ONE thing that stops people in their tracks and keeps them from taking action towards their goals. I’ve seen this over and over again, and let me tell you, it limits your life immensely!! This fear stops you from trying anything that you don’t believe you can be successful at very quickly.
However, there’s ONE big thing that I’ve learned through life and via my passion for psychology and personal growth… and it is that if you plan to accomplish anything worthwhile, you are GUARANTEED that it will come with a fair amount of failure along the way. And, If you fear failure, you’re likely limiting yourself and all you COULD achieve.
Consider these signs that you might fear failure:
You’re not excited about, or pursuing your goals aggressively enough. Hopefully, you have at least a few goals you’d like to achieve. Are you excitedly pursuing them each day, or are you finding excuses to "wait until tomorrow" to take an action? Your hesitancy is a sign that you fear failing. This is also part of the procrastination effect. That idea of waiting until tomorrow just delays you taking action and working toward your goals. Also, it could be the mindset that you’re GIVING SOMETHING UP, instead of seeing ALL that you’re getting in return. Get excited about all you’ll achieve, and start focusing on what you’ll GET instead of what you’re giving up. I’d love for you to think about this process is trading in that 1983 Toyota Corolla for a brand new shiny and sexy 2020 Lincoln XLT.. that’s a metaphor for the trade off.. And.. what kind of gas would you put in your new car? Would you give it the best of the best?? Or the crappiest of the crappiest?? Same for your body!! You deserve the best!! Now start looking at what you’ll gain and how you’ll feel…
You’re TOTALLY obsessed with being PERFECT. A need to be perfect at anything is a sign that you fear failure. This is a common excuse to avoid doing something and it’s because you struggle with ALL or NOTHING thinking. It sounds noble in your head, but it’s just an avoidance technique. There are very few things in life that need to be perfect. And, what I’ve learned most from this process is that the more you practice and FAIL, the more you’ll learn to GROW. Misteps, mistakes, accidents, and poor choices have the capacity to TEACH you what you want to do LESS, and help you recognize what you want more of in your life. It’s through making mistakes and doing things incorrectly that help you realize that those OLD behaviors aren’t helping you get to where you want to go.. And you remember my favorite quote "What got you here, won’t get you there.." or "If you what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten". The truth is you want CHANGE, that’s why you’re on this journey.. it’s time to take some action and recognize that FAILURE is part of success.
You procrastinate or use other means of sabotaging yourself. We can unintentionally create circumstances that make it impossible to be successful or to even begin getting to work. You may do things for others, or do things that avoid what you need to do for you. You stay at work late to avoid the gym. You take on other tasks to avoid meal planning/prepping. These are just examples, and there are a dozen more examples where these came from. These become convenient excuses that keep you stuck. Ask yourself why you sabotage yourself? What is the purpose? What happens if NOTHING changes? What happens if you stay the same? Then ask yourself.. what do you want? What happens if you allow yourself to take baby steps towards change, even if that means failing in order to learn and grow once in a while? What would happen then? What would happen if you started imperfectly, just for today?
Overcome your fear of failure and live the life you were meant to live with these techniques:
Keep positive outcomes in mind. If you only had positive expectations and never considered a negative outcome, you couldn’t be afraid. Spend a few minutes each day imagining the outcome you desire.
Imagine the worst that can happen. Just one time, allow yourself to consider the worst that can happen. Is it really that bad? What could you do to handle that situation? If you have positive expectations and confidence that you can handle the worst outcome, you’ll feel confident to move ahead.
Stay present. Aside from imagining positive outcomes for a few minutes each day, keep your mind grounded in the present moment. What is the next step you need to take? Do what needs to be done next and keep your mind on that.
• If you’re focused on your current work, you can’t be worrying about what might happen later.Acknowledge the positive aspects of failure:
• You learn something each time you fail and get better at whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. And…. YOU GROW!!
• You become more resilient to failure. Each failure teaches you that failing isn’t nearly as terrifying as you thought it would be.
• You’re actively living your life instead of playing it safe. This is great for your confidence, self-esteem, and overall life experience.Hang around successful people, and people who are DOING THE WORK. When you hang around successful people, you realize that they do more and fail more than most people. You’ll also notice that they don’t worry about failing. They give their best effort, fail, readjust, and try again. They just keep going until they have the results they desire.
How much has a fear of failure negatively impacted your life? It’s probably a lot more than most of us care to admit!
You can accomplish some pretty amazing things if you’re willing to deal with this fear. Take the bull by the horns and begin working on your goals each day. Avoid allowing a silly fear to taint your life experience.
Start pushing back on your fear of failure, and recognize that you can achieve your goals, when you allow yourself to TRY no matter what.